10 Quick Tips on How to Unspoil Your Child

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Close to 95% of parents feel like they are overindulging their children, but feel powerless to stopping themselves.

Have you ever experienced kids throwing tantrum at the mall? Being bossy and demanding. Or you find yourself pleasing to their whining, requests and tantrums? Don’t feel guilty, mommies. We have all been through these phases. It will come and it takes our will power to reset and ground the children out of these behavior.

What is a Spoilt Child Characteristic?

Selfish
Bossy
Excessive demands
Children with over-indulgence
Defiant
Meltdown when you tell them they can’t do something
Expect special treatment and surprises all the time
Not willing to compromise
Not a good sport

Why does this happen?

Does your child portray one of the above characteristic and it’s getting out of control?
Just like us adults, when there is no rules or limit set for a children, children are free do what they want. If parents give a child too much power, the child will become spoiled.
Over pampering and protective – It is natural to want your children to be happy, but giving them everything they ask for can cause long-term problems. Pampering your child leaves a sense of entitlement.
Fail to follow up punishment. Empty threats of punishment can prevent kids from fully feeling remorse and taking responsibility for their actions
Bailing kids out – By solving all of a child’s problems, parents can keep them from learning how to deal with the consequences of their actions. Without this skill, your children may not learn how to take responsibility and plan their actions appropriately.

10 Quick Tips to Unspoil Your Child

Here is the meat of your post. You’ll break down the problem into a list of easy-to-accomplish steps to help your reader.

Tip 1: Acknowledge and Commit to Unspoil

Consistency is the key.
When you stick to your rules, you will see results quicker.
Family members who stays together should commit and stick to the rules too.

Tip 2: Set rules and consequences clearly

Just as teachers do in classroom, speak in specifics.
Tell your children your expectation in no uncertain terms, and follow through.
Give your child a run-down of the day, if possible. Let them know what to expect.
If you have a caregiver who doesn’t enforce any rules while watching your child, this is something you’ll need to address with the caregiver. You are asking them (and possibly paying them) to watch your child and essentially to be the authority figure while you are working. This takes work on their part, and you don’t want someone who is lazy and has no ground rules while being trusted with the care of your child.

Tip 3: Create a bribe free home

Bribes work in the moment, but parents and children pay a higher price for bribery in a long run.
Avoid empty threats as well. Do not threaten to give a punishment you cannot or will not follow through with. Eventually your child will “call your bluff” and believe that you will not follow through on any consequences.

Tip 4: Avoid negotiation

When a simple task became a tug of war conversation, you know you are negotiating to much with your children.
You can show your child that not every aspect of life and its demand is a deal to be fought and wrangled until midnight.
Hear your children out and set limited choices to allow them to make decision within your acceptable boundary, if appropriate and make it a nix negotiation.

Tip 5: Be the boss

Be the boss who understands and is comfortable with the leadership and authoritative role of a parent.
Have a clear household rules. Make sure children know their expectations ahead of time and explain the reasons behind the rules.
Avoid using “Because I said so”. Rather than saying, “Go to sleep because I said so,” say, “Go to sleep so you can help your body and your brain grow.”

Tip 6: Buy less for the kids

Practice buying less for the kids. If the things are unnecessary, practice saying “No” when your child does not need them.
When we aren’t continually buying them things, they will appreciate more when they receive a gift.
“When kids are accustomed to getting things right away, nothing excites them anymore,”
Teaching your children to wait for fun and treats helps them sustain focus and attention, two very important skills for success in school.
Owing lesser items help children to be creative, to think out of the box. Sometimes by having less, you gain more.
Indulge in non-material joys i.e spending time telling stories, making pizzas, strolling in parks, creating fun house using recyclable items. See Tip#9.

Tip 7: Buy less for yourself too

Children learns quickly buy example. When we show that we can resist temptation by buy less things for ourselves, we impart delay gratification values to our children.
We don’t need everything in our house. Now that pandemic is over and we can travel; children will get excited when he/she goes somewhere (children gym nursery, school, grandparents house) where there are new and different toys.

Tip 8: Reward effort, not product

This is a mistake that I always fall upon because effort can easily get overlooked.
Try not to reward good behavior with material items. Instead, reward your child with time spent together doing something fun. Say that you are extremely proud, give them a hug and offer to take them for a bike ride together or a movie instead of buying material item.

Tip 9: Invest time in your children

Always remember that children are a blank piece of paper. Every piece of information that they get in their growing phase, it is a learning process for them.
Seek activities and experiences that involves time. Rather than material items that cost money, seek for experiences that build memories.
You can get my FREE 30 day of easy activities on spending time with your child and a list of less cost activities that kids like.

Tip 10: Take pride in the new you

It is absolutely normal to see your child protest, showing attitude and meltdown during your unspoiling efforts because it’s a change for them. We, adults, complains too when there is a change of management in our work environment.
But you know better than to surrender to your children tears and tantrums.
Embrace the new you knowing that this will give your children a different kind of gift that will last a lifetime.

Conclusion

Unspoiling can go quickly, but it requires fortitude. You will realize it is all worth it in the end when you see how much better your child is to others. This blog is where I share what kids learn when they are unspoil.
It is really about you. Your child is mimicking what you have taught them. Be a great example. Read here for more about simple parenting guides.
If you would like to read more about positive parenting, here are some books that I recommend.
Parenting isn’t hard. Be a happy parent and your child will be happy children too. XX